Bridesmaid Agony

Dear Agony Bear,

I'm finally planning my wedding after a long courtship (8 years!) and a long engagement (3 years!). My fiancee and I are so excited, but as the wedding approaches I've started to worry about my bridal party. My fiance has invited 4 friends to serve as his groomsmen. I have picked out 4 friends as well, but I don't know how to tell my other 3 good friends that they will not be bridesmaids without hurting their feelings. What would you do in my shoes?

-basket case bride




Dear Basket Case,

Congratulations! Planning a wedding can be stressful. The stress and emotion involved in planning the big day can exploit already existing issues in interpersonal dynamics. I understand your concern, but remember: this is your day. Talk to your friends, let them know how important their friendship is to you and why it is simply not feasible to invite everyone who is important to you to be a bridesmaid. If I were in your shoes--

Oh wait, if I were in your shoes, me take off shoes. Me eat extra 3 bridesmaids. Then me maul and eat remaining bridal party. Me chase terrified groom up tree, me maul body and me fling it from tree. Then me drag you by the neck to my cubs for them to devour because ME A BEAR.